The Loves of Hippolyta

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

A silly parody of bodice rippers. Can a lonely, overweight student in a medieval convent school ever land a gorgeous, sexy Highlander who looks a bit like Fabio? Probably not.

Hippolyta Æthelbertha Winebottom loves cake, clothes, shopping, and romance novels featuring a gorgeous kilted Highlander named Fabulous.

It's 1190, though, and thin is in. All the mean girls at school bully and torment her because of her weight. Worse yet, every one of them is ravishingly beautiful and slender. Why would a gorgeous Highlander ever give Hippolyta a second look?

Even if she survives the mean girls, Hippy still has to contend with witch hunters, lepers, morris dancers, highwaymen, Saracens, pillaging knights and corrupt Vatican officials. Oh prithee, who will save her from the dark ages? What she needs is a hero, preferably a gorgeous Highlander in a filibeg. With a really big sword. And maybe a vaccine for the plague. And a crown would be nice. And lots of cake.

● bbw
● Fabio
● Beowulf
● Robin Hood
● Abelard and Héloïse
● naughty nuns
● cheesy romance
● Highlanders